Get Passed The Charm, Recognize Narcissist Abusive Behaviors, It Could Mean Your Life
NEW YORK, NEW YORK, UNITED STATES, September 26, 2021 /EINPresswire.com/ — During the dating process, women tend not to pay attention to the subtleness of ‘red flags’ because of the ‘idea’ of love. The signs of an unhealthy relationship include a partner putting you down or makes you feel less than, physical abuse in the form of hitting, pushing, slapping or self-absorbed behaviors. These are just a few signs women need to quickly pay attention to move away from.
Vikki Hankins, author of ‘Trauma’, recalls one of many nights she felt her life would end at a mere 18 years old. “On this night I ran and knocked on every door of that hotel for someone to help me, pleading for my life. He told me he would kill me and I believed him. He punched me in my head so hard it that it knocked me to the ground in the parking lot of a hotel. Fortunately, someone heard me and called the police. They rescued me…no woman should ever, ever have to go through this.”
Gabrielle Petito, a 22-year-old woman ‘whose disappearance during a cross-country road trip’ tragically end with loss of life, is possibly a life loss that occurs too often. With similar incidents – arguments in public places, physical abuse seen by others – Petitio could still be alive today with more proactive measure from community and otherwise.
In her memoirs, Hankins – a Black woman – details severe violence and abuse experienced at 18 and 19 years old within the pages of ‘Trauma’.
I was running like a deer! If I’d slowed down it was over! I knew he would gain on me; after all he did play football and could run. So I ran as hard as I could! I ran off the road onto the grass and headed straight into the lake, get this – I couldn’t swim!
By the time I reached the edge of the water R.J. tackled me and I tumbled to the ground my body half in the water, half in the grass! ‘If I stop or slow down I am dead…’
Black women are especially vulnerable to intimate/partner violence… they were 2.5 times more likely to experience domestic violence than white women, according to data from the U.S. Department of Justice. The pandemic has dramatically increased the abuse of women by 50% or higher according to reports.
“While one in three white women report having experienced domestic violence [during the pandemic], the rates of abuse increased dramatically to about 50% and higher for those marginalized by race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender identity, citizenship status, and cognitive physical ability,” says Erika Sussman, executive director of the Center for Survivor Advocacy and Justice (CSAJ), a support and research organization.
Advises Hankins,“If he is making you feel less than in any way, look at it square in the face and run for your life. Denial is not the answer. You are a beautiful person, full of life; you have amazing things to release into the world, and the world needs ‘you’. Don’t let him dim your light. He should compliment you, not hinder you and definitely not hurt you – psychologically, emotionally, mentally or physically.”
Within the book, self-care and relationship tips provides readers with practical ways to improve their lives if they’ve experienced traumatic incidents – it all revolves around healing. “We have to find ways to forgive ourselves. We also have to find ways to forgive the people that hurt us.” Taking practical steps to get out of abusive, unhealthy relationships requires courage, but also recognizing the many forms of abuse is vital as well. “Don’t make excuses for him. There is no excuse for mistreatment in any form towards another human being. No one has the right,” says Hankins, “Writing proved to be a tool that helped heal traumas in my life.”
A global crisis, women are losing their lives in marriages, and dating. Reports the United Nations group United Nations Women, when the pandemic began, incidents of domestic violence increased 300% in Hubei, China; 25% in Argentina, 30% in Cyprus, 33% in Singapore and 50% in Brazil. In the U.S., the situation is equally troubling, with police departments reporting increases in cities around the country: for example, 18% in San Antonio, 22% in Portland, Ore.; and 10% in New York City, according to the American Journal of Emergency Medicine.
A non-fiction solution-based read, ‘Trauma’ provides relatability, eye-openers and resolution. The book is available at all major bookstores online.
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